Keep it Clean, Ladies

I haven't yet shared my disdain for public restrooms.

Today, like every day, I was reminded of this when I used the bathroom at work. There are few things I find more disgusting than the smell of poo, dirty junk, and disinfectant.

So, I'd like to present the beginnings of my list of bathroom rules:

The first three are a little older, and were written specifically for long lines:

1. Don't take a shit.
There are people waiting. Shit stinks. Not only are you taking up valuable stall space for your dump, you are stinking up the bathroom where people are waiting in line. Go to another bathroom, or shit at home. Unless you have diarrhea, in which case, you probably won't be long.

2. If you didn't use your hand to wipe your ass, RINSE AND GO!
There's no need to scrub up like you're heading into surgery. We've already waited in line for the toilet, must we wait for the sink, as well? Surely they've got a nicer sink and real soap in the hospital, doctor.

3. Don't stand in front of the paper towel dispenser and talk to your friend.
People's hands are dripping. Get out of the way. Would it really be that hard to walk outside? Next time I'm just going to fling water on you until you move.

And now some more recent additions:

4. Do not leave your bloody tampon in the toilet bowl.
Flush. Flush again. Wad up some toilet paper and give the damn thing a push. Continue flushing. Flush. FLUSH!

5. Do not leave your bloody tampon in the toilet bowl along with a poo.
Even worse than #4. If the toilet has stopped working, cover everything inside of it with toilet paper. You could also use any provided seat covers. I remind you only of this: What has been seen cannot be unseen.

6. Leave the recommended/understood one empty stall between you and the next person in the bathroom.
This is especially important for those of you that like to stick the toes of your shoes underneath the adjacent stalls. I don't need your foot in my personal space.

7. Courtesy flush.
No explanation needed.

I'll be adding more as I continue the terrifying use of public toilets.

Cliche Titles to Avoid When Creating Facebook Photo Albums

If I see another one of these, my head may explode.

"As of Late"

"Randomness"

"Just Me"

"Old School"

"Memories"

"It's that time of year"

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas"

"Our Wedding"